Laugha Minute…


Skinny Dippers

An elderly man in central Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lemon trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny~dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned and replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.

Police Emergency

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This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

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Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

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Marvin Gaye gets it together with Reeces and the Easter Bunny…

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For my friend E~ and all my readers…
Happy Holidays
~The Baby Boomer Queen~
PS…show me a Holiday that doesn’t include Chocolate and it won’t be one that I celebrate! {smiles}

Blood Test

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Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One boy and one girl. The girl was crying very loudly.

Boy Child: Why are you crying?

Girl Child: I came here for a blood test.

Boy Child: So? Are you afraid?

Girl Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the boy child started crying profusely.

The girl child was astonished.

Girl Child: Why are you crying now?

Boy Child: I came for a urine test !

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~~Sorry, I had to post it~~
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

Wacky Americans

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– We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.

– We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.

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– We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour.

– Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.

– We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don’t know half the words in the “Star Spangled Banner”.

– We’ll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.

– We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

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This being the election year…I have taken a serious look around me and have wondered…

Why is it, that we choose from just two people that run for our President and over yet fifty for Miss America ?

Is that wrong???

~The Baby Boomer~

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Life
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “Woo hoo! What a ride!”

1578164089_cec60401a0_m.jpg For my friend E~

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