Humor


Skinny Dippers

An elderly man in central Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lemon trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny~dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned and replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.

Police Emergency

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This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

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Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

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Good Investment

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A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that’s parked on the street in front of the bank.

Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says:

“We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we’re a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

“Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?”

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Your every day Easter PEEP

Yes, Baby Boomers, it is that time of the year…this will be my [second] annual PEEP POST…
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Here are this years PEEPS for the Holidays

451926198_d82bb02877_m.jpg This is my PEEP Show…

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Where do PEEPS come from you ask???

2312952058_18663f828b_m.jpg Chocolate eggs…of course!

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Political PEEPS…PEEPS are very Political

2349245913_255c88a94c_m.jpg PEEPS for Obama

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PEEPS are show offs!

412264230_cc55a4e232_m1.jpg Here PEEPS PARADE for Gay Pride.

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PEEPS are very religious!

7568363_b22ed96d99_m.jpg Here is Moses with some PEEPLES as they cried…”Let my PEEPLES GO!”

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PEEPS are everyday PEEPLES…just like you and me…

1594908923_6b089daa5b_m.jpg If you cut them do they not bleed???

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How do PEEPS get around, you ask…???

505153403_9bdf9da03f_m.jpg It is truly spooky…as you will never see a PEEP alone!

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PEEPS are always Politically Correct!

437843206_b21e9b5a6f_m.jpg PEEPS for PEACE…these PEEPS will always be white!

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Some times PEEPS are in great PERIL, as they are so delicious!

412663035_ffa1120cd8_m.jpg PEEPS in PERIL…Dinosaurs love PEEPS!

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PEEPS make great fashion accessories!

67137847_78ceb05625_m.jpg The ablity to accessorize with PEEPS is what separates us from the Primates!

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Not all PEEPS are good PEEPS

457297522_9952aaec5a_m.jpg PEEPS have been known to PEEP!

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PEEPS make great Jewelry as well!

450157359_8d9f1d6fb7_m.jpg One does not have to have HORSE sense to know when to wear a PEEP TIARRA!

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419593213_0cd7c245c4_m.jpg PEEP Jewelry is quite the rage…in PEEP circles.

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PEEPS are fun to decorate with as well.

429387231_3d534ce3f2_m.jpg PEEP Wreaths can be made for any occassion.

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PEEPS are very stylish and fashion conscious!

161461514_c6f0de4b5f_m.jpg If you can make an Easter dress with PEEPS…the list is endless of what you can do with PEEPS!

Hope you enjoyed MY PEEP SHOW…
Happy Holidays
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

My favorite PEEPS are always PURPLE PEEPS…how about you???

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Marvin Gaye gets it together with Reeces and the Easter Bunny…

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For my friend E~ and all my readers…
Happy Holidays
~The Baby Boomer Queen~
PS…show me a Holiday that doesn’t include Chocolate and it won’t be one that I celebrate! {smiles}

It is always worse when you lose a friend on a Holiday!

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They say that Holidays are pretty stressful for most…this pretty much proves that theory to be true!

Happy Holidays
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

Blood Test

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Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One boy and one girl. The girl was crying very loudly.

Boy Child: Why are you crying?

Girl Child: I came here for a blood test.

Boy Child: So? Are you afraid?

Girl Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the boy child started crying profusely.

The girl child was astonished.

Girl Child: Why are you crying now?

Boy Child: I came for a urine test !

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~~Sorry, I had to post it~~
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

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