FUNNY


Most Wednesdays and Saturdays, we play cards…tonight I was the “All Time Card Winner.”

I promised my friends I would blog this…A good time was had by all…too bad we were not playing for money!

Tonights games were CRAZY 8’s and 500 Rummy.

The snacks were burritos, jelly beans left over from Easter Baskets and Kettle Pop Corn.

Drinks were green tea, black cherry diet drink, mixed with some lemon/lime soda and Merlot Wine.

We will probably all have bad dreams and stomache aches tonight.

This is the Card Champ signing off…
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

Police Emergency

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This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

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Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

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Good Investment

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A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that’s parked on the street in front of the bank.

Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says:

“We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we’re a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

“Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?”

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Marvin Gaye gets it together with Reeces and the Easter Bunny…

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For my friend E~ and all my readers…
Happy Holidays
~The Baby Boomer Queen~
PS…show me a Holiday that doesn’t include Chocolate and it won’t be one that I celebrate! {smiles}

It is always worse when you lose a friend on a Holiday!

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They say that Holidays are pretty stressful for most…this pretty much proves that theory to be true!

Happy Holidays
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

Cows

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Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls.

But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country.

Maybe we should give them all a cow.

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Things have changed since 911 but it was not with our neighbors and relatives from the south. I am so glad that they decided to drop the pretense of a wall between Mexico and the U.S.. Just more money down the tubes that could have gone to better use! Perhaps NORTH AMERICA should be just that…no boundries…John Lennon said it best…IMAGINE

~The Baby Boomer Queen~

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Best Patients

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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

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But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

740654130_ddfd3904fa_m.jpg President Bush as he voted against Stem Cells! Point in case!

~The Baby Boomer Queen~

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