Friendship


It is always worse when you lose a friend on a Holiday!

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They say that Holidays are pretty stressful for most…this pretty much proves that theory to be true!

Happy Holidays
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

The rules tell you to scheme, flatter, and play hard to get, but our favorite life coach doesn’t think that will get you very far. It’s time to rethink the dating game.

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Develop a strong sense of self before seeking a relationship.

Day after day, as I hear single women bemoan the lack of available men, I wish ethics allowed me to set them up with my wonderful male clients who are searching, with equal frustration, for the right woman. Instead, I end up simply witnessing singles of both sexes failing to find each other.

I believe this failure has much to do with the model of love seeking most popular in our culture: the idea of romantic pursuit as a type of predation, a hunting expedition the goal of which is capture.

In my experience, the way of thinking that leads to successful relationships is altogether different. It’s focused on the idea that the way to find love is to become so much yourself that you find others of your own kind, with whom you can share freedom.

The book of love?

The predator model of love leads to a hunter’s way of dating: Seek large gatherings of your prey, dangle a false self as bait, wait for an individual to stray from the herd, then pounce on him with all the wit and wile it takes to bring him down. Internet matchmaking services, singles bars, speed dating, personal ads and even blind dating all borrow from this “statistical mass” logic.

I’ve seen clients spend years dating this way, entering one briefly exciting, painfully doomed relationship after another. This is not a numbers game. It’s a soul search.

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The other rules for seeking your soul {and its mate}

I would encourage anyone who wants to find a soul mate to follow these three steps.

1. Know thyself

Women who are willing to hide or detach from their real selves in order to bag a man often seem to believe that the right guy will give them a sense of identity and self confidence. This is backward. Looking for love before developing a strong sense of self is like trying to find the mate of a shoe you’ve never seen.

Next time you’re feeling fretfully single, try exploring your own nature: Write down your favorite foods or colors or songs or books or sports. Visit a therapist. Embark on a voyage of self discovery for its own sake and because it is on that journey that you are likely to bump into the perfect traveling companion.

2. Value thyself

The single women I know are frequently advised, “Stop being so picky,” “Have a better attitude,” and “Lower your standards,” perhaps to the point where they’ll date anyone with a penis and a pulse.

I believe this is precisely the wrong approach. Why? Consider our statistical friend, the bell curve. The great bulge in the middle represents areas where you are, well, average. This is also the part of you that could easily be mixed and matched with the largest number of potential mates. The skinnier upper end represents your greatest gifts, the areas where you are most talented and extraordinary. The few people who share your most exceptional characteristics are your tribe, the population that is most likely to contain your heart’s partner.

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I suggest that you should be pickier, less accepting and more committed to the “bad attitude” that will make you seek people who are extraordinary in the same way you are.

Be courteous to men who don’t appeal to you, but for God’s sake, don’t waste your evenings, let alone your nights, with them. “Oh,” conventional rule keepers might exclaim, “you’ll have to spend some nights alone!” Yes, indeed. Your pool of candidates is much smaller at the high quality end of the bell curve, your chances of having no date on Saturday much larger if you refuse to go out with men who bore or repulse you.

But if memory serves, the boredom and/or repulsion of bad dating is much worse than spending a few hours on your own.

3. Engage thyself

The authors of “The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” emphasize that in order to get a guy, a woman should always act busy, for instance, when a desirable man calls, it’s wise to set a timer to go off a few minutes later, then recite a memorized exit line, such as “Sorry, gotta go. I have a million things to do.”

Here’s my crazy idea: How about actually having a million things to do? How about actually filling your life with interesting activities? If you want to attract a partner, identify what you love to do, and do it, a lot. Involved, busy people really are more attractive, so if you want to get engaged to your soul mate, start by being engaged in activities that fascinate you, especially those that have nothing to do with dating and that make you forget to go love hunting.
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Thank you Martha Beck from “O, The Oprah Magazine,”
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Well Baby Boomers…as you know I am single, am have been actively seeking that special someone.

I have pretty much been using these steps towards my goal, of finding some one to share my time and life with.

Yes, I am still single, but I feel this is an important search and I have all the time it takes. I am sure that there will be a happy ending/begining one day in the furture

~The Baby Boomer Queen~

From NASHVILLE, Tenn., via Fort Worth Texas, County Music Hall of Fame Star Hank Thompson’s lung cancer has gotten worse, a family representative said Saturday night.

Officials said Thompson has been moved into hospice care.

Thompson was recently released from the hospital earlier this week, and he is being kept as comfortable as possible at his Texas home, officials said.

Doctors said the cancer is very aggressive, and family members are asking fans to remember him in their prayers.

The family is encouraging people to send a card and let him know that people are thinking about him.

Letter can be sent to:

P.O. Box 163573

Fort Worth, TX 76161
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Thank you WSMV and CNN News
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Well, Baby Boomers…it sounds like we need to get those cards out right away, along with your prayers.

~The Baby Boomer Queen~

Hello Baby Boomers and those of you who aren’t…

I just wanted to let you know that I am going to be moving this week and so you might not get a post from me…please stay turned as I will be up and running soon.

No phone and computer for while…I might go crazy…as you know, I have to blog!

If you come on…and there isn’t a new post please go back and read one that you missed…or leave a comment.

I hope to see you soon…
Sharon
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

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WELCOME BACK BABY BOOMERS

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Well as some of my repeat readers know, I have been down for a week.

Thank you for returning and I have really missed talking to you.
The days seemed like weeks and the week seemed like a month!

So here we go again…please came back often and post a comment…I enjoy them all so!

I truly missed you so!

Smiles and world peace,
Sharon
~The Baby Boomer Queen~
Oh yes, that is me in the middle…

Happy Fouth of July” to all of my readers, friends and family…

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Happy Fouth of July to all my readers, friends and family…

I want to say a very specail Fouth of July to my beloved niece Kaitin, who is 23 today!

For many years she thought the whole United States was celebrating her Birthday because she was such a special child…
My Sister has a great sence of humor! LOL

None the less…she is that special to me!

Happy Birthday Kaitlin…I hope you enjoyed your birthday…[she is in Japan right now and they are ahead of us, time wise].
I miss and love you… Aunt Sharon

Eat lots of watermelon and BBQ today, Baby Boomers…have lots of fun and enjoy the foreworks.

Also, THANK YOU, to all of the armed forces who give the ULTIMATE SACRFIFIC every day, by putting their lives on the line for us.

Smiles and world peace,
~The Baby Boomer Queen~

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Hello Baby Boomers…

So many of us are losing our mates. There are plenty of reasons…death, divorce. terminal illness.

So for those of you who have spent a life time [or so it seemed] and now are faced with the possibility of looking for a new partner…this is a good article.

Being one, who has been out there for the last 12 years, my personal advice is never to lie! If you are going on line to look for your soul mate or other mates…be honest…Those lies will catch up with you. Starting any relationship based on lies will get you a dishonest relationship.

And remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. Take your time…be selective. The best part of any relationship is always the first part…so make it last.

Well. those are a few words of sage from me…good luck Baby Boomers…I am here if you need me.

Hugs and kisses,
SMILE!
~The Baby Boomer Queen~
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Top 10 Ways to Get Lucky at Love

Know what you want. Your looks change and fade, character does not. While a certain amount of “chemistry” is nice, don’t rely solely on lust.

What qualities are you looking for in a mate? My book “Find a Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women” helps readers define their love goals.

Get clear about what you don’t want. Knowing what you really can’t tolerate in a partner is important. Make a list of your “don’t wants” and then cut it down to the 10 most important. Any more than that and you’ll be too picky.

Live your life. Once you know clearly what you want (and don’t want) in a relationship, shift your focus to living your life. You’ll find that you start noticing those who might fit, and passing by those who don’t.

See the big picture. Don’t try so hard that you miss the obvious. If you are great at focusing, step back now and then and look at the big picture. Work on having a playful, whimsical attitude towards life.

Get out of the house. Cultivate opportunities to
expand your social circle and meet new people
expand your social circle and meet new people. Vary your routine. Have you thought of entertaining to enlarge your social circle?

My new ebook “Looking for Action? The Find a Sweetheart Party Planner” tells you how to throw parties to build a wonderful group of close friends – it’s easy!

Open your eyes and your attitude. Lucky people notice, create and maximize chance opportunities. Chat with other shoppers while you are waiting in line. Be ready with a “calling card” a personal business-type card with basic contact information.

Get curious. Don’t content yourself with the obvious. Ask questions. Wonder why. Find answers.

Try something new. The best way to have things stay the same is to never do anything different. Vary your daily routine, just to keep yourself awake. Shake yourself up and notice what happens. Keep yourself open to chance opportunities, and then take advantage of them.

Expect good luck. Monitor your self-talk for negative messages that interfere with luck. Replace the negative thoughts with positives. Surround yourself with examples of lucky people.

Learn from bad luck. Take steps to prevent more bad luck from what you have learned, then let the “bad” go. Don’t dwell on or rehash the bad experience. Look for the positive elements.
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Thank you Kathy Lord
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Kathryn Lord, romance coach and author, met her now husband Drew online. Out of the dating world for years, Kathryn conquered her fears, found her perfect mate and built a solid relationship. She put what she has learned into writing in “Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women.” A psychotherapist, Kathryn has been helping singles and couples for more than 25 years. She is on the web at Find-a-Sweetheart.com.

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