You know it’s July in Florida when:

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– Hot water comes out of both taps.

– You find out that a seatbelt buckle makes a pretty nice branding iron.

– The trees are whistling for the dogs.

– You find out that you can get sunburned through your car window.

– The birds need to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

– You burn your hand opening the car door.

– The temperature drops below 95 and you put on a sweater.

– You can make instant sun tea.

– Shade determines the best parking space, not distance.

– Farmers feed their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

– When you step outside at 7:30 a.m., you break into a sweat.

– Potatoes cook underground. This is convenient because all you have to do is pull one out and add salt, pepper and butter.

– You discover that asphalt has a liquid state.

– You realize that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

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