You know it’s July in Florida when:
– Hot water comes out of both taps.
– You find out that a seatbelt buckle makes a pretty nice branding iron.
– The trees are whistling for the dogs.
– You find out that you can get sunburned through your car window.
– The birds need to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
– You burn your hand opening the car door.
– The temperature drops below 95 and you put on a sweater.
– You can make instant sun tea.
– Shade determines the best parking space, not distance.
– Farmers feed their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
– When you step outside at 7:30 a.m., you break into a sweat.
– Potatoes cook underground. This is convenient because all you have to do is pull one out and add salt, pepper and butter.
– You discover that asphalt has a liquid state.
– You realize that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.