More of The Bible According to Kids

The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)


– Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

– When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

– Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the manager.

– Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption.

– St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

– Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says do one to others before they do one to you.

– He also explained that “Man does not live by sweat alone”.

– It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

– The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.

– The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

– One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

– St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

– A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.